


I Resign, Effective Immediately

by Dynared21



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, One Shot, Parody, Somewhat Amusing Injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 19:24:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4071736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dynared21/pseuds/Dynared21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone says that working for Varrick would be great. Until you actually work for him. One-shot, may edit in the coming days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Resign, Effective Immediately

"Resign?"

Iknik Blackstone Varrick looked utterly confused at the declaration from the man sitting across from him. The disgruntled engineer had walked in just before he was scheduled to go to lunch, with a resignation letter that seemed to span the length of a novel. With the man not willing to leave, Varrick was force to address his complaints.

"Yes, effective immediately. I can't keep working here. It's not good for my physical or mental health."

"Oh come on!" Varrick objected. "It was just one broken bone!"

* * *

_Are you really sure about this ejector glider on the "automobile" you're testing?_

_I saw your airbag design. Kids could get hurt if they sit in the front with one of those!_

_What if they sit in the back?_

_That would just be limiting! Now, we're going to hit the button to see how the ejector system works._

_Sure, just let me strap myself i…AAAAAAHHHHHH!_

* * *

 

"I was out of work for a month while my arm was healing."

"You were well compensated!"

"I got a fruit basket and no salary."

"Well you weren't doing anything!" Varrick answered defensively. "But come on. Is that the only reason?"

"No, there was also the time you had me design the Bending-Enhancer suit."

"You know, Kuvira's forces never used those. Can you remind me why?"

* * *

 

_Alright, all you need to do, theoretically, is press the button, at which point the needles will go into the chakra points and you should be able to earth bend with far more effectiveness._

_Seems simple enough._

_Yeah, just be careful with AHHHHH!_

* * *

"He accidentally uplifted a whole convoy of trucks. One of them nearly crushed me."

"Nearly," Varrick replied. "Look, being a creative genius is dangerous work! I don't hire any old Nancy-boys for the job, you know!"

"You know, you still didn't bother to mention the tests of the new model mecha-tank."

"Live fire was necessary to see if they would hold up in battle!"

"While I was inside it?!"

"You have to stand behind your work!"

The engineer gripped his temples when he heard this. "OK, what about making the entire team work an entire weekend so you could go on vacation with your wife?"

"I'm not sleeping on the couch dammit!"

The engineer just shook his head at this. "And what happened when it came time to thank the people that put their lives on the line for this company?"

* * *

 _I am so happy to be the keynote speaker for the 1_ _st_ _Republic City Trade Show! I'd say Asami Sato deserved the honor, but she's a little busy working on the finer details of a certain Avatar…wink wink nudge nudge._

_But seriously, that's what us engineers do! We work on the finer details of products in the hope of making something the public can't live without! Really, who could live without Varrick-brand food heaters? No one that wants their leftovers warm! And the work here wouldn't be possible without one person. My lovely wife – Zhu Li Moon! Honey, come on up here! Don't be shy!_

_She's the only reason I've been so successful! Heck, if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have my suit on straight every morning!_

_Someone else to thank? Besides yours truly? Can't think of anyone._

* * *

"You're mad I didn't bring you up in front of some snooty investors?"

"And that you seemingly want me dead Mr. Varrick," the engineer answered. "But yeah, a 'thank you' would be nice."

"Thank you for what? For making me late to lunch?"

The engineer walked out the office, leaving the papers with him. "My full resignation letter is right there. It will swear a lot less than I will if we keep this conversation up."

Varrick looked on at the paperwork, reading the second page.

"Reasons concerning my physical well-being... Well I'm bored," he announced aloud, throwing the paperwork in the garbage before pressing a button on an intercom.

"Zhu-Li, I need an advertisement for a new engineer out in tomorrow's paper. Yes, I know I promised to hire a new secretary! Put that in the paper too!"

**Epilogue**

"So, yeah! I quit!"

"Welcome to the club," a second man reassured the engineer that just walked through the door of the small storefront.

"Some club", a third man noted. We have no products and enough money to rent this place out for two months. What are we supposed to make?"

"That's the beauty of it. Look at the papers I…liberated from Varrick before I left. Designs for those new model mecha tanks, the Engine Armors."

"Who's gonna help us buy them?"

**RRRRRING!'**

"Shut up, that's the client I was talking to! Let me try the female voice! Erm, _Megaroad Incorporated, how may I help you?"_

"Who is it?"

"It's someone from the Earth Kingdom! They heard about our designs for military weapons."

The third man chuckled when he heard the news. "We might be able to afford rent after all."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, another epilogue concerning my other fic in 'Avatar: The Realignment' that is otherwise completely unnecessary to understand what is a stand alone fic. As such, this may or may not be the same engineer from my other one-shot fic. It doesn't really matter.
> 
> And while the concept of a bunch of ex-Varrick engineers starting their own business could be fun for a few chapters, I feel like anything I come up with would resemble Silicon Valley.


End file.
